Forgive the Unforgivable?
This article, a revised version of an essay from our free, downloadable Conversations About Forgiveness guide, ponders what, if anything, is unforgivable.
Practice: Another Point of View
Think of an incident in your life for which you would like to be forgiven or for which you would like to forgive another.
Write or record a short description of the situation from your perspective. Now imagine that you are the other person in the situation and write or record a short description from that person's perspective. How are the two stories different? Have you ever thought about the situation from the other person's perspective? Does it make you more willing to consider forgiveness in this situation?
Practice: A Beauty Stroll
A beauty stroll can be taken any day of the year, but its appeal is most obvious in spring. Each green bud emerging after a hard winter is a tiny wave of relief and anticipation, each sign of new life as welcome as the moist, refreshing air.
Practice: Be Open to Wonder
There is something about love that just can't be put into words. Like a gorgeous sunset or the smile of a young child, it takes your breath away. Love is characterized by moments of wonder. We reinforce this feeling when we are mindful of surprises, awe-inspiring sights and situations, and other daily wonders of our lives.
Celebrating Boundless Love
After decades together, a member of my writing group announced she was getting married. It was the second gay wedding in our group in the last year and I was invited! On an overcast fall morning I joined friends and family as we gathered in a cozy room overlooking the Puget Sound.
Practice: Deep Listening
One of the many ways to practice deep listening is to try to be truly present with the other person. It was said that the writer Ernest Hemingway had a way of listening with such intensity that the person doing the speaking felt supremely complimented. One step is to seek to have agenda-free conversations where you are free to listen to what the other person says rather than listening while thinking about what you are going to say in response. Another practice is to make lists to assess how you listen:
Practice: Simple Changes
Author Sam Keen, reminds us that "the great metaphors from all spiritual traditions—grace, liberation, being born again, awakening from illusions—testify that it is possible to transcend the conditioning of the past and do a new thing.”
Compassion Meditation
Listen to a 13-minute guided meditation on compassion by author, translator, researcher, and Buddhist practitioner Alan Wallace.
Fetzer Survey on Love and Forgiveness in American Society
At a time when significant emphasis is placed on the issues that divide Americans, the Fetzer Institute's Survey of Love and Forgiveness in American Society reveals the commonalities that bind us together. The report uncovers the deeply held beliefs and attitudes individuals have about love, forgiveness, and their connection to the world beyond our borders. Published in October 2010, the Fetzer Institute commissioned the research in an effort to explore these complex topics that are central to its mission and to learn more about where love and forgiveness are present in American life.
Conversations About Forgiveness: Participant Guide
This handbook supports four conversations about forgiveness. Three essays serve as background for the conversations, helping to explain why and how to practice forgiveness. Each conversation uses the essays and a film clip from The Power of Forgiveness, a PBS documentary that received major funding from the Fetzer Institute, to spark reflection and dialogue.
This resource is one of many developed in support of community-wide conversations and activities focused on love, forgiveness, and compassion--all a part of the Institute's Campaign for Love & Forgiveness.